Book Reflection: Introverts in the Church

In college I took my first Meyers/Briggs test, and came out a high E for Extroversion.
Every few years I would take the Meyers/Briggs for a leadership position or for a seminary class, and my E score kept getting lower and lower. Now I score a clean “I” for Introversion.

In regards to my introversion, for years I felt like I was walking around in the dark with a dim flashlight whose batteries were 90% depleted. Reading Introverts in the Church was like dropping new Duracells into that flashlight. Here are a few of the main things I gleaned:

Evangelical Christian Churches are Geared Towards Extroverts
In his book, Adam McHugh describes the extroverted environment that evangelical Christian churches cultivate. Evangelical churches are all about relationships—relationship with God, and relationship with each other. If you walk into an evangelical church on a Sunday morning, the ushers will warmly greet you, church members will bombard you with small talk because they want you to feel welcome and noticed there, and you will observe a lot of hugging and laughing and interacting among the members. Once the service starts the leader may ask everyone to stand up and greet each other (especially visitors!), and there is always something happening, such as a sermon to listen to, music to sing, offerings to give, prayers to recite, scriptures to read, and announcements to take note of. Stillness and pregnant pauses are rare.

It being an evangelical church, the focus is on evangelism, or sharing the “good news” with others—which includes initiating relationships (with hidden agendas), helping “seekers” feel comfortable, and encouraging people to participate in smaller groups where they can know and be known. At all points and time someone is up in your face.

The whole set-up is geared towards extroverts—not introverts. I grew up in an evangelical church setting, and until about 5 years ago have been actively involved-- with mixed results-- in approximately 5 or 6 churches.

As an introvert, my processing is best done internally rather than through interactions with others. In churches, people are encouraged to participate in small groups and verbally share with others.

As an introvert, I crave silence and contemplation. Most churches are a hub of stimuli and activity with “church socials” in their “fellowship halls.”

As an introvert, I feel most alive when I am alone. But “as followers of Jesus, even introverted ones, our ultimate identity is never found in aloneness, but it is found in relationship with another.” (page 56) Which is why, as an introvert, Christian community exhausts me. My personal spirituality leans towards silence, prayer, journaling, taking a Sabbath to unplug, writing, and reading.

But on the other hand, I recognize the truth of my identity being found in relationship with God and others. So I do what McHugh describes as a “spiral”. I take “steps into a community, but then spiral out of it in order to regain energy, to reflect on [my] experiences and to determine if [I] am comfortable in that community”. So there is this rhythm of engaging and retreating that is the story of my life. I was so glad to learn that introverts do this spiraling thing, because previously I just thought I was a anti-social, self-indulgent jerk.

Some Good Things About Being Introverted
My current faith community is ReIMAGINE, which is an amazing bunch of young people in their 20’s and 30’s, whom as far as I can tell, are mostly extroverted—like I was in my 20’s. They are charismatic, energetic men and women, attracted to the prospect of following the teachings of Jesus in ways that may be different than how a traditional church goes about it.

And in this community of extroverts, according to McHugh I have these introverted gifts to offer: compassion, service, loyalty, insight, listening, creativity, calming presence—which are things that I have been pretty much affirmed about in the past.

Some Down Sides of Introversion
But on the down side, “in an extroverted culture, introverts can become the silent screens onto which others project their insecurities. Others may regard our quietness as arrogance, or they may interpret our tendency to observe in social situations as condescension.” I don’t know if people have thought I am arrogant, but I do know that my introversion makes some people uneasy, and they wonder what the heck I am thinking about when I am quiet in a group setting. Loads of people have communicated this information to me in loving and not-so-loving ways.

Introverts in a Christian community also have to be vigilantly on the watch for burnout and depression. I have been incredibly susceptible to those for the past several years. I wonder if they are unavoidable conditions for those of us who are emotionally depleted by interaction? I’d like to think that just because I lose energy doing something doesn’t mean that I’m not supposed to do it.

It’s Not Just About Churches
While this book is written about introversion within the context of the church, most of what it says applies to the nonprofit work environments I have been involved with. Any nonprofit organization worth its salt exists because they have a vision and mission to love people and serve them. Nonprofit work attracts a certain personality type—the extroverted, people-loving type. Meetings are preceded by personal “check in’s”, staff members tend to know what is going on with each other and hang out together outside of work hours, and the “save the world” mentality often translates into overwork and extended time spent working with one another.

I’m not picking on churches or nonprofit organizations, and I’m not griping about people either. But in general, American culture values extroversion over introversion. But not as much as some other countries I’ve been to—like Thailand, or the Philippines, where I would go absolutely crazy as an introvert. Years ago, I remember telling a Filipino friend of mine that I was going to travel solo for a year around the world. She thoughtfully absorbed that outrageous information, tilted her head and wistfully asked “But won’t you miss people?”

Well…. no, actually.

Book Reflection: On That Day Everybody Ate

On that Day Everybody Ate, by Margaret Trost.

Ms. Trost’s story begins with a “reverse mission” trip to Haiti in which the goal of the hosting organization is for the participants to be transformed. She volunteered in a hospital and orphanage and observed first-hand the physical hunger that the Haitian people suffer and the spiritual satiety they posses. She returned to the U.S. so transformed that she recognized a series of events for what they were—a personal call to help feed the hungry children and adults in Haiti.

Partnering with a local Haitian Catholic church, she raised the money to start a feeding program that provided one hardy meal a week to 500 children—some of whom walked 5 miles to get that meal. Donations kept rolling in so she started a non profit—the What If? Foundation, based in Berkeley-- and they were soon feeding 1,000 people five days a week, as well as running a summer camp and sending some kids to school with scholarships.

All of this happened before this year’s earthquake in Haiti. Their kitchens in Haiti were miraculously spared severe earthquake damage, so in the aftermath of the disaster they are now serving about 2,000 meals a day.

All right then. Ever since 2008 when I read about Haitians eating “mud cookies” (made out of lard, salt, and dirt), Haiti has been in the back of my mind nagging at me like an item on my grocery list that I just can’t recollect. A logical next step would have been to go to Haiti earlier this year after the January 15th earthquake, but I feared that there was so much chaos in Haiti at that time that my trip and intentions would be wasted. I’m still waiting for my call to Haiti and it feels like I’m revving my engine at the red light, waiting for it to turn green so that I can peel out over the starting line.

Until I get that green light, I’m pondering some of the lessons from this book.

1) The reason Margaret Trost was on the original trip to Haiti in the first place was because her husband had unexpectedly died 18 months earlier. Her life as she knew it had ended, and she was ripe for a new beginning. Oftentimes something new doesn’t begin until we have experienced and honored an ending. I’m on the watch for endings in my life (jobs, relationships, interests, etc).

2) The Haitian women who partnered with Ms. Trost in the original once-a-week feeding were women who worked full-time jobs in addition to caring for their children. However, they still carved out time to go to the farmer’s market every Saturday morning, buying sackfuls of rice, beans and vegetables, then cooking all day and night Saturday, then serving 500 meals, and then finally cleaning up on Sunday after church. The author describes their joy as they sat in a circle peeling carrots, picking bugs and rocks out of the rice, cooking the meal with love and care. Where, oh where is my heart for service like that? I considered it a monumental sacrifice to dedicate two nights in a row recently to cooking a meal for the homeless one night, and serving it the next night.

3) I’m still trying to figure out what to do with mathematical and ethical incongruencies like that the money I spent on organic strawberries at the farmer’s market yesterday could feed 24 Haitian children their one meal of the week. Or that I have a cupboard full of pasta, beans, and sauces, and Haitian mothers are baking “mud cookies” in the sun to give their children something to fill their tummies.

What the World Eats- III

If you ever get to view this book you will observe that families from many of the poorer countries have a bonanza of food laid out in their kitchens and food prep areas. The main difference between their piles of food and other family’s piles is that their diet consists mainly of fresh fruit and vegetables, much of which they grow themselves.

Look at the food for this Ecuadorian family—plantains with every meal!

This reminds me of Michael Pollan’s wise little phrase:

Eat food.
Not too much.
Mostly plants.


I enjoyed reading some of the more exotic recipes offered up by many of the families.

The mother from Chad makes a daily breakfast soup by throwing a handful of dried tomatoes into some water and salt. I figure it’s probably healthier than Frosted Flakes or Pop Tarts for breakfast.





From Greenland there is a family recipe for Seal Stew, which will come in mighty handy should I ever get famished and want to club a baby harp seal.


Lastly, here are some of the more interesting foods and drinks ingested by families in different countries:
o The family from China lists MSG, a flavor enhancer, as a regular condiment in their meals. I thought MSG was only for places like Panda Express.

o The family from Greenland lists walrus and polar bear as regular meats they enjoy. Any animal that stars in a children’s cartoon is questionable in my book.

o The family from Japan eats an average of 12 different kinds of fish and shellfish, and 3 varieties of seaweed each week. I don’t think American supermarkets even sell 12 kinds of fish.

o Mexico ranks 1st in the world for per-person consumption of Coca-Cola. Considering how miserably sick I’ve gotten from Mexican water in the past, I would brush my teeth with Coca-Cola if I had to.

What the World Eats- II

Somehow I missed this little fact, but this book says that in the year 2000 the World Watch Institute reported that for the first time there were just as many overfed people on the planet as there were underfed. This surprised me. Hunger organizations relentlessly show us videos and photos of starving adults and children— so naturally I believe that there are a lot of underfed people in the world.

Overfed people are not on my radar screen-- probably because they aren’t on TV or in movies because they aren’t considered beautiful enough for Hollywood. Personally, the only times I view the obese populace are when I attend a county fair and see chunky people waiting in line for corn dogs and funnel cakes; or when I am at a national park accosted by pudgy moms, dads, and children spilling out of their RV’s (and tight clothing) munching on bags of Cheetos.

Many of the countries represented in What the World Eats have a high percentage of their population living on less than $2 a day.
o Almost half of China lives on less than $2 a day.
o India has 80% of its people living on less than $2 a day. This stat is exacerbated by the mere fact that the population of India is well over 1 billion, so right there we have $800 million people living on next to nothing.
o African countries fare worse. Mali, in northwestern Africa, has 91% of their people living on less than $2 a day.

Two dollars will barely buy a Happy Meal in America. Speaking of which, let’s see approximately how many McDonald’s are to be found world-wide:

Australia- 726 (kind of scary considering that there are what, about 5 big cities in Australia?)
China- over 600 (but China is so big and spread out you can't find them)
France- 973 (France isn't that much bigger than California)
Great Britain- 1,100 (gamely closely the gap on the Americans)
India- 46 (even though they can't serve beef)
Japan- 3,891 (I wonder if their fish sandwiches outsell their quarter pounders?)
United States- 13,491 (the big winner, er.. loser!)

It would be picking on America for me to post a photo of the poorest country in the book and compare it to a photo of one of the American families in the book. I’m here to tell you that the three American families represented here don’t stand out as being the only ones with big piles of food. You should see the photos of Great Britain (that family likes their biscuits), or Kuwait (that family likes their candy bars), or Australia (there must be 60 lbs of meat on their table). Obese Americans are a convenient target, but the scary truth— as the World Watch Institute has reported— is that world-wide, the numbers of overfed people are quickly on the rise.

What the World Eats- I

On one of my book shelves sits a photo-journalistic, coffee-table type of book titled Material World in which a photographer visited countries around the world and took photos of typical families with all of their worldly possessions laid out in front of their home dwellings. I've used that book for teaching classes on simplicity and I look at it often.

Shortly after my $1 a day experiment was finished I bought a similar book called What the World Eats. The same photographer traveled to over 20 countries and found a family that represented the average income for each particular country. He took a photo of each family in the place where they prepare and eat food, surrounded by a typical week’s worth of groceries.

Here is one of the families from the United States:


Here is the family from Chad:


Here is the family from Mexico.


I could sanctimoniously say that this book made me want to immediately get online and buy stock in Coca Cola (check out the back row of the photo above), but there is much more to this book than gawking at the photos and judging what the families eat. The book is a fascinating study of food, economics, cooking, survival, globalization, culture, tradition, health, and so much more.

With each photo of the family and their food, the author records how much money the family spends on food in one week (converted into U.S. dollars). I won’t list all 20-something of the countries, but here are some highlights:

o The French family (2 adults, 2 teens) spends $419.95 per week on food (with all of their sublime cheeses, mousses, cafés, and pastries I’m pretty sure that I’ve spent close to that in one week for myself in Paris)

o The family from Japan (2 adults, 2 teens) spends $317.25 a week on food.

o The large family from Mali (8 adults, 5 kids, 2 babies) spends $26.39 a week on food (if you want two wives you gotta be ready to feed more mouths).

o The Sudanese refugee family (1 adult, 5 kids) living in Chad spends $1.22 per week on food. Nope, that is not a typo. ONE DOLLAR AND TWENTY TWO CENTS!

For some reason, the authors photographed 3 families from the USA.
o The California family (2 adults, 2 kids) spends $159.18 per week on food.

o The North Carolina family spends double that at $341.98, but to be fair they have 2 teenage boys in the photo.

o The Texan family (3 adults, 2 kids) spends $242.48 per week on food.

I've got much more to say about this book, but for now I am wondering how many of us would enjoy putting a week's worth of our eating habits on photo display? For the photo in my kitchen, I imagine a small castle made out of stacked pints of Ben & Jerry's icecream.